The Lifestylista ®

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DEAR LIFESTYLISTA – 'I HAD AN AFFAIR AND IT'S HARD TO LET GO'

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“Hello dear Am a tanzanian 23yr old girl Am attracted to a guy that i kinda had an ‘affair’ with around this tym last year But i ddnt see the relationship going anywhere so i backd off but deep inside me i still wanted him…ddnt have enough courage n patience to fight for ‘us’ We kinda lost each other then suddenly out of blue he appeared around my brthday season He came to my party…did a huge photoshoot n gave me the pics for free He bought me an expensive perfume n all i was trying 2 forget abt hm came back to life but we werent on the same page Since then am really trying 2 get back to him bt he wudnt let hm He never calls n wen i do he hardly picks up He texts few tyms n hardly replies to my texts He told me one day that he likes me but he z scared he might hurt me coz he znt a very loving person But i still wanna have him…i go sleepless every now n then Ts so hard 4 me to let go Please help me with advice…hope it will be soon XOXO”

LADIES – PLEASE GIVE YOUR SUPPORT TO OUR LIFESTYLISTA FRIEND [NAME DELETED]. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? WHAT HELP CAN YOU GIVE FROM YOUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCE?

Here was my answer:
Hey [NAME DELETED] thanks for writing in. The key question I have is HOW DOES HE MAKE YOU FEEL? What does all this too-ing and fro-ing do to you? To the way you feel about yourself.
— You’ve been trying to re-connect with him but he’s distant and he’s told you he isn’t a loving person… I’d say have an open, honest conversation with him where you ask him honestly what his intentions are AND LISTEN TO HIM WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. No matter what he says. You need to know whether you should move on…
— I know he does nice things for you (expensive perfume, photo shoot etc.) but girl, you know you are worth much more than any Yves St. Laurent or Calvin Klein! This man is making you wait. He hardly replies to your texts. You’re a goddess and you’re having to chase him. Find out what the situation really is, once and for all. When you look into his eyes you’ll know.
— Here’s an true story from my life. At university in England, I dated this gorgeous African-American who was doing his year abroad. The guy was smart, an army officer, so darned goodlooking (I know this makes me sound shallow but if you’d seen him you’d understand LOL! Lawd). I liked him (couldn’t believe my luck actually!) and it seemed like he liked me too… Then he told me that he “didn’t deserve me” and I though… awww he’s just being nice. As if the universe was sending me a sign, that week on a magazine rack I saw an article that said, if a man says he doesn’t deserve you, he knows something you don’t. And sure enough, I later found out that dude was seeing loads of other people (in 3 separate countries)! Ha!
— My point is, when that guy says he’s scared he might hurt you and he’s not very loving, ask him exactly what he means. Ask him what makes him say that. Get to the bottom of it. Then you’ll know. It could be nothing OR it could be something… You’ve got your life and your heart on hold waiting for this man. Get it sorted. I feel your pain girl.
I’ve been there and I’m here rooting for you.
— Let Bob Marley sing it for us… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAshOzRGrBw (Bob Marley – ‘I Don’t Want To Wait In Vain’)
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
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A SECRET TO LOSING WEIGHT (36 LBS PER YEAR)… FIDGET! #MayoClinic #Study

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Seriously, you know how they told us when we were kids to “sit still and not fidget so much…” Well, according to scientists at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, that’s exactly the opposite of what we need to do if we want to be slimbos!

The small but important study took 10 ‘obese people’ and 10 ‘slim people’ and put them in top and bottom underwear that used sensors to measure their movements and posture (whether they were sitting, standing or laying down). What they found was that the slim people fidgeted considerably more than their plump counterparts as they went about their day.

Scientists also discovered that the overweight study participants were actually sitting down for an average of 150 minutes more in the day AND they burned 350 fewer calories. This is even though they were all in the same laboratory conditions…
***350 calories a day = 36.5 pounds in a year! A heck of a difference…***

Dr Jim Levine, the lead researcher, designed the study to work out the role of calories burned during daily living (or NEAT – Non Exercise Activity Thermogenesis, all the things we do that don’t involve deliberate ‘exercise’, eating or sleeping).

“A person can expend calories either by going to the gym, or through everyday activities. Our study shows that the calories that people burn in their everyday activities are far, far more important in obesity than we previously imagined,” says Dr Levine.

So all that fidgeting that you used to do as a kid – shaking your arms, kicking out your feet, tapping that pencil, nodding your head to imaginary music, pacing… Now, just go for it! And if you aren’t a natural fidgeter… Become one! It,’s a small adjustment that can make a load of difference. 🙂
I’m here rooting for you.
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
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NO TIME TO WORKOUT? SPEED UP YOUR METABOLISM IN JUST A 2.5 MINUTES A DAY…

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Now scientists have just blown a hole through your biggest exercise excuse… “I don’t have time”.

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WHY IS THE SPEED OF YOUR METABOLISM IMPORTANT?
The faster your metabolism, the more calories you burn.

HOW DOES EXERCISE AFFECT METABOLISM?
45mins:
Researchers at Appalachian State University found that 45 minutes of vigorous exercise increases your metabolic rate for a full 14 hours.

20 mins:
One study showed that if you exercise and sweat for 20 minutes, you will speed up your metabolism.

2.5 mins:
Don’t have 20 minutes, well you’re not off the hook Missy… 🙂 According to scientists at Colorado State University, if you do 2.5 minutes of very intense high resistance cardio, this can cause an ‘afterburn’ during the rest of your day that burns up to 200 calories. In this small study, the study participants gave their ALL for 5 x 30 second cycle sprints with 4 mins of gentle exercise recovery time in between each sprint.

HOW DOES AFTERBURN WORK?
Excess Post Exercise Oxygen Consumption (EPOC). Scientists disagree on the exact mechanics of afterburn but one explanation is that intense exercise causes an oxygen deficit (shortage) in the body and so to correct this, our metabolism has to stay in overdrive. The longer and the more intense the exercise, the longer the afterburn.
Important: the exercise must be intense, if you just hang out with your friend and chat while having a gentle stroll, that may be fun and you might catch up on all the gossip BUT it doesn’t count for the purpose of EPOC and afterburn!

What’s the point of this story? Do what you can girl and start small. But do start. Even if it’s 2.5 minutes in a day that you build from. You are worth it and I’m here rooting for you!
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
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Sometime's it's more risky NOT to try… Go out there and make it, do it, BE it!

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“And the day came when the risk to remain in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

Go out there and BLOSSOM girl 🙂 Live your best life, be your most fabulous. Right now. What are we waiting for?
I’m here rooting for you!
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
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MAKE HIM CRAVE YOU AGAIN… #SexAndLove

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Are things not quite the way they were with you and your other half?  Are you stuck in a rut?
So many of you have written me about this, I have to reply.  YOU WANT TO FEEL SEXY AGAIN!
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1) DRAW HIM TO YOU WITH A SMALL BUT EYE-CATCHING CHANGE…
Men thrive on variety when it comes to attraction.
Spice up your look and put a spring in your step.  Add a bit of new-ness to keep things fresh and reawaken his desire.
– Go bra-less (I’m not kidding 🙂
– Wear higher heels
– Change your hairstyle
– If you normally dress sensibly, sashay around in a short skirt
You are not predictable, safe, wifey – you are a hot temptress, girl and don’t you forget it (and don’t let him forget it either)
2) DON’T DROWN HIM IN DETAIL
You know us ladies.  A man asks us what happened in our day and we are telling him everything from the sweet potato we had with our lunch to what our ‘nemesis’ said today at work – word for word!
Though we want to stay connected,  the more detail we give him, the more bored & distracted he’ll get…  The less he wants to know!  Psychologists suggest that men can’t handle that kind of detail and that explains why they tend not to give us that kind of detailed, line by line explanation of their day.
So try this instead:
Him: How was your day?
Us: Great my love.  Nothing much happened. I went for a drink with Sandra and Lola.
Him: Really?  Tell me more.
Instead of hitting him with a wall of information, let him ask you questions.  Then he’ll be more interested in it too.
3) GIVE HIM SOME SPACE
Don’t always get all up in his grill.  Give him space.  Have a life of your own.  Let him miss you.  And maintain some mystery too.  It may sound old fashioned but… if what you’re doing now isn’t working for you it might be worth giving this a try!
4) NOTICE WHAT HE DOES WELL
A genuine compliment from you will go a loooooong way to making your man feel seen by you and to feel truly acknowledged.
So often, we ask ourselves if he notices us, if he thinks we are attractive, if he notices all we do for him BUT he’s asking himself the same thing.   He just may not ask us for it.
Instead of just hoping to ‘get’ this kind of appreciation from him, let’s give too.
5) GIVE HIM A FLASHBACK
Makes me blush just writing this.  Remember when you guys met and just the sight of each other would send you into a heart palpitation fest..? LUST!  There are certain smells, tastes, sounds and visuals that can take you straight back there.
That sexy cologne he used to wear, that curry you used to cook, that old school Usher track (LOL) – oooooooh!  If you want to take him back to a time he absolutely had to have you…  Use his senses to take him back there.
Wear that perfume you used to wear (smell is a big one – it’s one of our most primal senses and it can induce an immediate emotional reaction), play the music, go and visit that place you used to make out…  Have fun with this.  Use your imagination.
Girl, I don’t need to tell you anymore.  You’ve got this!
I’m here rooting for you!

CAN I LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT LOSING MY BREASTS?

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Girl, I don’t know what to tell you. Are you sitting down? Our boobs, bazungas, breast-ios are mostly made up of fat and so when we lose weight, we lose weight in our breasts too.
BUT don’t throw your decision to get fit, healthy and slim out of the window just yet…

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If you lose weight, you’ll lose it ALL OVER YOUR BODY. You’ll lose weight in your waist, your hips, your thighs and YOU’LL STAY IN PROPORTION… You’ll still be a Coca Cola bottle shape (if that’s what you were!) just smaller!

Here’s a WORD OF WARNING about yo-yo dieting, crash dieting and your precious ta-tas:
If you diet over and over again, your breasts will droop before their time.

WHY?
When you gain / lose / gain weight, you stretch your skin and after a while it just doesn’t have as much bounce-back! If you lose the weight very quickly, you’ll increase the amount of sag because you’re breaking down the collagen and elastin in your skin.
You keep losing those same 10 – 15 pounds and, the only place you’ll be making a permanent change is… to your poor breasts.

Let’s lose our weight the healthy way and keep it off for good. If only for the sake of our breasts! 😉

I am here rooting for you girl!
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
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#Breasts #WeightLoss #FatLoss #Shrink #SaggingBreasts #Droop
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