DEAR LIFESTYLISTA UPDATE to “HUSBAND WOES” post “Thanx alot Lifelista, yo truly a family. We talked and i thank God things are working out well. With prayers, am hoping for the best. God bless you guyz, you are the best.”
LADIES, THANKS TO YOU AND YOUR 20+ COMMENTS YOU HAVE HELPED OUR FELLOW LIFESTYLISTA SEE HER WAY OUT OF A VERY PAINFUL SITUATION. We really are a Lifestylista family 🙂
————– Original post:
DEAR LIFESTYLISTA: <<Hi guyz, am married and a mother of one. Recently my husband has changed alot. He is not Loving anymore, he doesn’t care as in nothing grows btwn us anymore. The worst part am sure he is seing someone else. Wen he gets home he switches his fone, n wen he is not @ home he diverts his calls,in a way we can only communicate via sms. last nyt he din’t come home n his fone is switched off. I don’t know how to go abt this, pliz help.>>
LADIES – PLEASE GIVE YOUR SUPPORT TO OUR LIFESTYLISTA FRIEND [NAME DELETED]. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? WHAT HELP CAN YOU GIVE FROM YOUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCE? Here was my answer:
Hey [NAME DELETED] – Sorry to hear how you’ve been feeling. Sounds like it’s been rough girl. You’ve noticed your husband has changed and you think he’s seeing someone else.
First things first… Decide how you feel about yourself – are you making his changed attitude towards you make you feel like you’re somehow ‘changed’, somehow less? If so, shrug that one off right now. Him not treating you well has nothing to do with your actual worth. Look at your child and tell him / her that you love her and then (when you are by yourself) look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love YOU! Look right into your eyes…
Next step… Your husband. No point torturing yourself and wondering what it all means (his phone is on divert, he’s only replying to texts etc.). You married this man, you had a child with him, you shared vows with him. Sit him down and with love in your heart ask him to share with you what’s going on for him.
Don’t accuse, just ASK and LISTEN… Let him talk. If he’s defensive, just remind him that you love him and that you’re only asking questions because without open honest dialogue you can’t be there for each other (and your child), you can’t improve your relationship, you can’t really be in each others lives.
If you think this marriage, this family is worth working on, worth fighting for, then have this conversation. If he is seeing someone else, it will be hard to hear BUT it’ll be better you know for sure (rather than all the wondering and guessing) because then you can work out your options.
[NAME DELETED] – I am here thinking of you and wishing you well. You are not alone. I am here and so is your Lifestylista community. We are right behind you. Keep us posted.
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
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Keep your Dear Lifestylista questions coming! I'm here for you and so is this community.
Keep your DEAR LIFESTYLISTA questions coming! I am here for you and so is your community. Just send me a FACEBOOK MESSAGE www.facebook.com/Lifestylista and your question may be featured on the Facebook wall, Google+ wall and / or this blog page (for your privacy, your name will be deleted of course!)
love
The Lifestylista
xox
DEAR LIFESTYLISTA: My husband isn't loving anymore and I think he's cheating…
DEAR LIFESTYLISTA: “Hi guyz, am married and a mother of one. Recently my husband has changed alot. He is not Loving anymore, he doesn’t care as in nothing grows btwn us anymore. The worst part am sure he is seing someone else. Wen he gets home he switches his fone, n wen he is not @ home he diverts his calls,in a way we can only communicate via sms. last nyt he din’t come home n his fone is switched off. I don’t know how to go abt this, pliz help.”
LADIES – PLEASE GIVE YOUR SUPPORT TO OUR LIFESTYLISTA FRIEND [NAME DELETED]. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? WHAT HELP CAN YOU GIVE FROM YOUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCE? Here was my answer:
Hey [NAME DELETED] – Sorry to hear how you’ve been feeling. Sounds like it’s been rough girl. You’ve noticed your husband has changed and you think he’s seeing someone else.
First things first… Decide how you feel about yourself – are you making his changed attitude towards you make you feel like you’re somehow ‘changed’, somehow less? If so, shrug that one off right now. Him not treating you well has nothing to do with your actual worth. Look at your child and tell him / her that you love her and then (when you are by yourself) look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love YOU! Look right into your eyes…
Next step… Your husband. No point torturing yourself and wondering what it all means (his phone is on divert, he’s only replying to texts etc.). You married this man, you had a child with him, you shared vows with him. Sit him down and with love in your heart ask him to share with you what’s going on for him.
Don’t accuse, just ASK and LISTEN… Let him talk. If he’s defensive, just remind him that you love him and that you’re only asking questions because without open honest dialogue you can’t be there for each other (and your child), you can’t improve your relationship, you can’t really be in each others lives.
If you think this marriage, this family is worth working on, worth fighting for, then have this conversation. If he is seeing someone else, it will be hard to hear BUT it’ll be better you know for sure (rather than all the wondering and guessing) because then you can work out your options.
[NAME DELETED] – I am here thinking of you and wishing you well. You are not alone. I am here and so is your Lifestylista community. We are right behind you. Keep us posted.
love,
The Lifestylista
xox
www.facebook.com/Lifestylista
The Lifestylista
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Kara Kj Miller Ladies!!! She has spoken to her husband and given us an update… See my recent post! love, The Lifestylista xox
June 6 at 1:10am · Like · Reply
Rexx Kunz Take heart he will just get back to you after his evil did’s he will knw that you are the one who loved him will all your heart. They do go but they always look back when life Slap them.
June 3 at 2:40pm · Unlike · 4 · Reply
Lee Lee Anne Pray to God for guidance and pliz keep in mind that there is no marriage that God cannot restore and there is no person that God cannot change…… Pray, Pray n pray some more…..
June 3 at 2:51pm via mobile · Unlike · 3 · Reply
Nadia van Zyl Purchase the book fascinating womanhood!! It will change your life and marraige forever. Pray hardest when its hardest to pray..best of luck! Inbox me if you want to talk.
June 3 at 1:26pm via mobile · Like · 3 · Reply
Kelly Tee just love yo self. this man is just distracted
June 4 at 1:20am via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Prisca Jones dedicate da whole family n GOD’s hand n watch how u handle hm.
June 4 at 2:55am via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Sarah Nandudu Pray to God first to calm him when talking to him.
June 4 at 2:26am via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Karen Mwaura Ok first of all no married man should sleep on someone else’s bed. Unless he is on vacation. You know what I mean. The fact that he didn’t come home at night is wrong. But first and foremost before I say much more please have a talk with him and find o…See More
June 4 at 1:43am via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Ida Nyame Ayensu Is not easy but remember there is someone who can change him is (GOD) pray always things will surlly change.
June 4 at 12:50am via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Maria Eyanuku Alway fast & pray concerning him & ask God 2 divert his attitude(mind) 2 u & his children. Good luck & God wil c u through
June 3 at 11:40pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Zippy Shiru dont worry ur self too much rem u hve a child he/ she luvs u & nid u most
June 3 at 11:20pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Jane Kemei prayer changes.
June 3 at 10:45pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Charity Asamoah My dear,dont give up! dont ask him to tell u any lies.whilst he is not ready to change.Pray to God for guidance.
June 3 at 10:34pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Catherine Wakesho Mwanaimba Dear,dont gve up but press on with prayers.”PRAYER IZ THE ONLY MASTER KEY”.Take ur time express urself b4 God,then talk to(husband) him,ask quiz, humble urself,b couragious n strong.Everythng in prayer n by Faith,God gives the answers very first. God 1,gve the HolySpirit chance 2 direct,act,speak, n 2 do otherthngs 4u. GoodLuck.
June 3 at 5:51pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Praise-martha Offiong May be u changed first check urslf, ur dressing, ur hair style, d food u cook, d way u approach issues, u pay more attention 2 ur child or u r doing something he does not like. Pray 2 God first 2 direct u on how 2 talk wit him & if he pays no attention leave him & continue praying. Make urslf happy & look gud. If u r just a house wife sweetheart look 4 wat 2 do so u can help urslf & him 2. God is with you.
June 3 at 2:58pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Kate Omakpo hope u did worng hm? just take ur time and talk 2 hm gud luk
June 3 at 1:58pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Bosede Meg Alonge Sincerely go back to ur place of prayers,and sought it out wit GOD b4 discussing anyting wit him
June 3 at 1:57pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Junejane Noah Dialogue is d keyword. Jst maybe he’s nt seeing anyone. U must hv gone wrong smhow n his trying 2 get at u. Apologise first n talk over n work things out. Goodluck.
June 3 at 1:55pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Rene Mack Be calm en behave like everything is rite as you pray en do ur investigations to get prove for no man wil agree to infidelity if you’ve no prove en maybe he’s misbehaving so that u ask then he gets a reason to throw u out. With God’s help all will be well.
June 3 at 1:53pm via mobile · Unlike · 1 · Reply
Sarah Zaato My dear try talking to him first,it may not be as bad as you think
June 3 at 1:38pm · Unlike · 1 · Reply
What success really is… according to Maya Angelou.
“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Maya Angelou
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The Lifestylista
xox
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Is there a guy you HATE..? Is it eating you up??? Grrrr…. :-(
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The Lifestylista
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The Lifestylista
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