DEAR LIFESTYLISTA – I KEEP HURTING MY CHILD, PLEASE HELP ***sweedy i have a big problem n seriously ned hlp,am so much attached to ma two yr girl dat i cnt even tk care of myself anymore,she is goin out of control,the wost is when i beat her we end up in hospital,not with a kain bt ma hands n not hard or strong either,am scared i might not raise up again in life,what shud i do dear? [NAME DELETED]***
LADIES – PLEASE GIVE YOUR SUPPORT TO OUR LIFESTYLISTA FRIEND [NAME DELETED]. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? WHAT HELP CAN YOU GIVE FROM YOUR OWN LIFE EXPERIENCE? WHATEVER YOU DO, PLEASE ***DO NOT FLING ANY STONES HER WAY, NOT ON THIS PAGE, NOT TODAY***. [NAME DELETED] IS A PART OF OUR COMMUNITY AND SHE’S COME TO US COURAGEOUSLY WITH A VERY SERIOUS MATTER AND SHE & HER DAUGHTER BOTH NEED OUR HELP.
Here was my answer:
Dear [NAME DELETED] – first of all let me acknowledge you girl for finding the strength to come forward and seek help. You obviously love your daughter very much and it sounds like you’re scared you might continue to hurt her.
1) Arrange for your daughter to stay with family or a trusted friend. Just temporarily. If you don’t feel as if you can tell them the truth, make something up!
2) GO NOW to speak to a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. Do not think about it, do not hesitate, do not worry about the cost. Find the money because if things carry on the way they are and you don’t do anything to stop it… Something may happen, you may do something, that you can’t take back and that you’ll regret for the rest of your life. You love your little girl and you want the best for her so get help now. Right now you sound overwhelmed, scared and sad and getting help could help you and your daughter see the light at the end of this darkness.
You are not alone [NAME DELETED] and there are other women reading this page who will be reading this and realizing that they are not the only ones going through this.
I am not a medical professional and I don’t know what your specific diagnosis is.
Let me share the story of another lady who also felt afraid of what she might do.
— Watch Brooke Shields talk (on Oprah) about her struggle with post partum depression – she describes very graphically here her sudden visions, sudden flashes of thinking about harming her daughter. Thankfully, she was able to get help before anything happened…
So, to recap, as soon as you finish reading this [NAME DELETED].
1) Pick up the phone and call your sister, mother, aunt, trusted friend and arrange for them to take your daughter for a while.
2) Call a trusted doctor / general practitioner, tell him your symptoms and ask for a referral (to a medical professional who can help).
In the case of Brooke Shields and her specific diagnosis (postpartum depression), they gave her a combination of medication and therapy. I don’t know what your diagnosis will be but it may be heartening to read about another woman overcoming her biggest fear (seriously hurting her daughter).
“The good news is that treatment for postpartum depression is often extremely effective, says women’s health expert Donnica Moore, MD, president of Sapphire Women’s Health in Far Hills, N.J. “It is not like treating strep throat, where you are 50% better in 24 hours. It takes some time,” she says. Treatment typically involves a combination of therapy and medication, along with plenty of rest and help from family and friends. Shields did all of the above.
“Without therapy, I wouldn’t have understood as much, and I think that without medicine, I would not have been clear enough,” Shields says.”
Lots of love [NAME DELETED] and we are all here rooting for healing and and end to the pain for you and your daughter!
The whole Lifestylista community.
& The Lifestylista