Are things not quite the way they were with you and your other half? Are you stuck in a rut? So many of you have written me about this, I have to reply. YOU WANT TO FEEL SEXY AGAIN!
1) DRAW HIM TO YOU WITH A SMALL BUT EYE-CATCHING CHANGE…
Men thrive on variety when it comes to attraction. And so do we! Let’s take nothing for granted. A relationship is not a jail or a fossil that must stay the same as the months, years, decades pass. Instead of a “husband” or a “boyfriend” choose to take a “lover” and, if you choose, make HIM your lover! 🙂 Make it so that you remember that you always have free choice and you choose him.
Spice up your look and put a spring in your step. Add a bit of new-ness to keep things fresh and reawaken his desire.
– Go bra-less (I’m not kidding)
– Wear higher heels
– Change your hairstyle
– If you normally dress sensibly, sashay around in a short skirt
You are not predictable, safe, wifey – you are a hot temptress, girl and don’t you forget it (and don’t let him forget it either)
2) DON’T DROWN HIM IN DETAIL
You know us ladies. A man asks us what happened in our day and we are telling him everything from the sweet potato we had with our lunch to what our ‘nemesis’ said today at work – word for word!
Though we want to stay connected, the more detail we give him, the more bored & distracted he’ll get… The less he wants to know! Psychologists suggest that men can’t handle that kind of detail and that explains why they tend not to give us that kind of detailed, line by line explanation of their day.
So try this instead:
Him: How was your day?
Us: Great my love. Nothing much happened. I went for a drink with Sandra and Lola.
Him: Really? Tell me more.
Instead of hitting him with a wall of information, let him ask you questions. Then he’ll be more interested in it too.
3) GIVE HIM SOME SPACE
Don’t always get all up in his grill. Give him space. Have a life of your own. Let him miss you. And maintain some mystery too. It may sound old fashioned but… if what you’re doing now isn’t working for you it might be worth giving this a try!
4) NOTICE WHAT HE DOES WELL
A genuine compliment from you will go a loooooong way to making your man feel seen by you and to feel truly acknowledged.
So often, we ask ourselves if he notices us, if he thinks we are attractive, if he notices all we do for him BUT he’s asking himself the same thing. He just may not ask us for it.
Instead of just hoping to ‘get’ this kind of appreciation from him, let’s give too.
5) GIVE HIM A FLASHBACK
Makes me blush just writing this. Remember when you guys met and just the sight of each other would send you into a heart palpitation fest..? LUST! There are certain smells, tastes, sounds and visuals that can take you straight back there.
That sexy cologne he used to wear, that curry you used to cook, that old school Usher track (LOL) – oooooooh! If you want to take him back to a time he absolutely had to have you… Use his senses to take him back there.
Wear that perfume you used to wear (smell is a big one – it’s one of our most primal senses and it can induce an immediate emotional reaction), play the music, go and visit that place you used to make out… Have fun with this. Use your imagination.
Girl, I don’t need to tell you anymore. You’ve got this!
I’m here rooting for you!