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Chinese Spicy Shrimp Stir Fry Recipe

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Lila Voo: “INGREDIENTS: 1 lb large frozen raw shrimp – deveined
1 inch piece fresh ginger
2 green onions
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
2 to 3 cups peanut oil

Marinade:
1 tsp shao hsing wine
1 tsp salt
1 ½ tbsp cornstarch

Prepare the Sauce:
6 tbsp chicken broth
1 tsp sugar
½ tsp salt
2 tbsp hot chili oil
¼ cup ketchup
1 tbsp cornstarch

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Defrost the shrimp by soaking them in cold water for about 15 to 20 minutes.
  2. While the shrimp are defrosting, prepare the vegetables. Peel the ginger and then grate it using a micro plane grater and set it aside.
  3. Rinse the green onions under cold running water and dry them with paper towels. Then cut about an inch from the tops of the greens and the very bottom of their bases and discard. Then cut the remaining stalks into small slices less than 1/8 inch thick and set these pieces aside.
  4. Cut the stems from the peppers. Then cut them in half and remove all of the seeds and inner white meat. Rinse the halves under cold running water and dry them with paper towels. Then cut them into thin strips, and then cut the strips in half. Set these pieces aside.
  5. Check to make sure the shrimp are thoroughly defrosted. Then drain them in a colander and remove all of their shells and tails. If the shrimp still have the vein in them, remove that as well.
  6. Once the shrimp are shelled, add the marinade in steps. First add the wine and salt and mix it in thoroughly. Then slowly add in the cornstarch, using your hand to make sure that it coats each piece. Let the shrimp marinate in the refrigerator for about an hour. Then take them out and let them marinate at room temperature for 20 to 30 minutes.
  7. While the shrimp marinate, prepare the sauce. Mix together the chicken broth, sugar and salt, and stir until the sugar and salt are slightly dissolved. Then add in the hot chili oil and ketchup. Stir and set the sauce aside.
  8. Mix the cornstarch with just a little water to dissolve and set it aside.
  9. Once the shrimp marinate, heat the peanut oil on high.
  10. When the oil is hot add the shrimp and cook them just until they turn pink about a minute. Then remove them with a slotted spoon and place them on a plate lined with paper towels.
  11. After all the shrimp are cooked, remove all of the oil except for 1½ tablespoons and heat it on high.
  12. Once the oil is hot, add the ginger and green onion and stir fry for about 30 seconds.
  13. Add the red and green peppers and stir fry for 1 minute.
  14. Then add the sauce and stir until it is thoroughly mixed with the peppers. Then return the shrimp to the wok and add the cornstarch mixture stirring until the sauce thickens and coats the shrimp.
  15. Then remove it from the heat and serve. This can be served with fried rice or white rice.”

Wanda Sykes COMEDY – Hilarious Comedian Talking About WAXING for the first time…

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WANDA SYKES: “I changed some things. I try to make some adjustments. I try to change some things. You know — Like I tried to get waxed. Yeah, I tried waxing for the first time. Yeah, and my friend she has a spa. She runs it out of here house. I want to support her, so I want to get the whole spa package. And you know part of it is a bikini wax. Yeah, so I said OK I can give it a shot. I try. Yeah, you know.

She said, “Wanda, it’s going to hurt a little bit.” I was like, “I’m tough. I can handle that stuff.” So she put the wax on there, put the tape on there, “poof.” I smacked the crap out of here. You hear me. “Whoop! Poof! What the crap is wrong with you? Crap! Is this what you do? Sit up in your house and snatched hair off of people all day?” This is some sick crap. And then she starts smacking it. I’m like, “ouch, ouch, girl, ouch, what are you doing?” She’s like, “that takes the sting away.” I said, “no that freaking hurts.” How would you like if I stabbed you, and stuck my finger in the hole, “Oooo, doesn’t that feel better? Soothing, huh?” Oooo I was mad.

And then I had to let her finish. You know. I had to let her even it out. I couldn’t have one side waxed, and one side wavy. That crap doesn’t match. It would feel like somebody is in my pants. I’m like, “How you doing?” Ooo that hurts. And then it got worst. I thought she was finished, and then she goes, “turn over.” I was like, “excuse me.” She’s like, “turn over. I gotta get the backside – get your butt.”

I’m like, “my butt? Ooo. That won’t be necessary.” Nothing goes on back there. Beside I like it to look like that cause it scares people away. I gotta make them think I got a dog chained up back there. They get closer. I even growl a little bit, “Rarrrr.” She was like, “Roll over fool. Come on. Come on.” She said, “it won’t hurt that much.”

OK. What the hell. A little change why not. So I turned over. She put the wax in there. Put the tape in there. Poof. Everything went white. And a little bit of pee came out. And I passed out. But I wasn’t out long. Cause when I woke up, she was still standing there, holding that thing. And she goes, “Are you OK Wanda?” I was like, “Uh, I think you just ripped out my butthole.” You just ripped out my butthole. Why would you do that? Don’t throw that one. I need that back. Some sick stuff. I never felt pain like that before.

That kind of pain should only happen in the wild somewhere. It shouldn’t be happen to humans. You know when you watch those nature shows. And then you see the lion stalking the wilder beast with that initial bite that seems so painful. That’s what it felt like. I picture my butthole running across the Sierra. I’m like, “Run butt-hole. Run butt-hole, run. Come on butthole. Ah.” Hot lion teeth on my butthole. That’s what it felt like.” Crap, I got a techno shot when I got out there.

So I’m get my stuff together. You know getting ready to leave. I’m getting dress. She was like, ”wait a minute. You’re not finished. “ I’m like, “What?” She goes, “I gotta do your facial.” I’m like, ”my facial? Not when you’ve been digging around my butt. “ I don’t want your hand and butt touching my face. You don’t go ass to face. You go clean to dirty.”