“When your child walks into a room, does your face light up?” Toni Morrison on Oprah’s Lifeclass Oprah Winfrey Network OWN

Published on January 3, 2016 by

“When your child walks into a room, does your face light up?”

SOURCE: THE MAMA MARY SHOW — “This was a question posed by the Nobel & Pulitzer Prize winning author of Beloved and Jazz,Toni Morrison, during one of Oprah’s televised book club episodes several years ago. The book they were discussing was The Bluest Eye (phenomenal book) and the topic was self-esteem in children.

Toni went on to say, “Let your face speak what’s in your heart.” She commented that sometimes, when her kids would come into the room, her first reaction was a critical one, looking them over for a mis-buttoned shirt, or an unwashed face. At some point, while her kids were still young, she became aware that her inner love was not coming across to them, but rather they were left feeling judged and criticized much of the time. She was tying all of this into a child’s self-worth because they learn their self-worth at a very early age, and primarily it stems from the parents.

Oprah went on to say, “That is how you learn what your value is, not by what the person is saying to you, but by what you feel.”

I vividly remember hearing this dialogue when it first aired in 2000, and thinking about my own parents and how their love for me was immediately apparent anytime I walked into a room. It is still is that way with my mom. I never doubted their love for me which transcended into almost every aspect of my life.

Though I did not yet have kids at the time, I took mental note of that conversation between Toni and Oprah, and stored in the filing cabinet of my maternalness. It has popped into my mind many times over the past few years after becoming a mom, and helps me remember to wear my heart on my sleeve for them. Now, when I open the door to my girls’ room first thing in the morning, my smile is bright and love is oozing out of my pores. I may lose my temper with them more than I would like, and I might discipline them more than they would like, but they will never go a minute without feeling loved, that is my promise.”

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